asvprock:

1 Bottle of Shampoo = 10 Bottles of Conditioner.

dutchster:

i accidentally spilled monster energy drink in my fish bowl and now my goldfish won’t stop saying “bro” and keeps flexing it’s fins

blackichigo1:

LMAOOO HAHAHA

dashdrive:

this oatmeal has god damn dinosaur eggs in it and then when you cook it THE DINOSAURS FUCKIN HATCH IM SO PUMPED

obey-loser:

when u with your mum and she drives right past a mcdonalds

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420ghost:

metalicmonocrome:

autumnblossoms:

HEALTHY HALLOWEEN SNACKS!!!!
These make me so happy!!!

Boonanas

let me go to one of your crazy ass white ppl houses on halloween and just try to hand me an orange with celery in the hole i will beat your ass

420ghost:

metalicmonocrome:

autumnblossoms:

HEALTHY HALLOWEEN SNACKS!!!!

These make me so happy!!!

Boonanas

let me go to one of your crazy ass white ppl houses on halloween and just try to hand me an orange with celery in the hole i will beat your ass

reattachment:

If we’re texting and I’m actually responding quickly and you’re not then it’s 99.9% guaranteed I won’t reply back for weeks

chevalierdog:

i logged into twitter for the first time in a year because i was curious how many people spelled doughnuts as dognuts

bricesander:

Nicole Richie filling out an online dating profile for her friend Erin. 

obscurebourgeoisie:

don’t buy colgate whitening toothpaste

it says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days

15 days have come and gone

and i am still asian

the-barghinator:

Fucking hell, it took me a few minutes to realise what the fuck was going on.

the-barghinator:

Fucking hell, it took me a few minutes to realise what the fuck was going on.

notinyourhand:

champagnewithpapi:

"Wanna smell?"

I just laughed so hard I got a headache

notinyourhand:

champagnewithpapi:

"Wanna smell?"

I just laughed so hard I got a headache

dinofarts:

an-egg:

yeah I speak Chinese

凵𠂆 𠂎丹丫

well fuck I’m chinese and I stared at this for about ten minutes before I got it

aduhm:

madskittlez29:

I’d rather…

Party like a Time Lord

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Dress like a consulting detective

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Eat like an Angel of the Lord

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And own my life like Robert Downey Jr

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